The One Where I Mourn the Actor I Never Even Watched

I have never seen an episode of Friends. Ever.

Well, actually one time, in very early 2018, I was at our daughter’s house, and she had Friends on in the background… but I swear I never watched it. I was just aware that it was on.

For some strange reason, I’ve worn the “never watched Friends” badge with pride, as if I deserved some stupid medal for it.

I don’t know why I never watched it. It just wasn’t something my wife and were into. We were young parents when it came out, and it seemed one of us worked later shifts (or worked later shifts and commuted) for most of the years it was on.

And it’s not like Dawn and I were particularly counterculture. I’m about as basic as they come, although I have never had a pumpkin spice anything.

So, yeah, I have no idea why I’ve been proud to have never watched Friends. I hadn’t thought about it in years.

But then, everything changed last week when Matthew Perry died at 54.

I’ve not grieved the passing of a celebrity since George Jones passed away ten years ago. But I do have a morbid fascination with the passing of celebrities. Maybe it’s because most of them are still frozen in time to me. Suzanne Somers was still young and playing a character on Three’s Company, Tina Turner was still making my heart speed up in her music videos, Paul Rubens was Pee-wee Herman, Bob Barker was old, but young old. You know what I mean, right?

But this one hurts a little differently. Not because I had any connection to Perry as an actor. In fact, I don’t think I can name anything else he’s ever played in. His passing hurts because so many people that I know and love do feel connected to him.

Perry’s passing got me thinking. Will there ever be any more shows (or movies, or books, or music) that captures the attention of so many people? I used to drive and look over and see someone in a nearby vehicle rocking out to a song and I would try and find that song on the radio so I could share in that moment with them. That can’t happen today. The music that I listen to is fed to me specifically. It knows I like classic country, classic rock, 80s hair bands and 90s hip hop, with some random stuff like Paul Simon and singer songwriter stuff for good measure. But that is different than what others are listening to.

And TV? Forget about it. “What are you watching these days?” is often followed by “What service is that on?” and “I’ve never even heard of that one before”.

The algorithm is destroying the collective experience of enjoying art and entertainment. There is no more zeitgeist. And that makes me sad.

Rest in peace, Matthew Perry. And to my friends… I’m very sorry for your loss.